Is it worth it..
I still remember the day I first boarded my flight to Texas (TX) , US, hoping to graduate and find a nice dollar paying job in 2001, lil did i realise what I was getting into..

The first couple of months passed by with the usual things any grad student goes thru.. homesickness, entering the kitchen to cook other than to find something to eat, going to each department at school trying to get a research or grad assistantship, figuring out the different calling cards to call back home, trying to go out to different restaurants for dinner and getting better with 50 times multiplication table converting every cent or dollar to rupees..

As the days rolled by, I saw myself changing to US lifestyle.. playing basketball, going to saturday nite college football games, tennis, hanging out at bars, clubs and doing something for the "weekend".

Dec'03 came up, I finally walked out of my school with a grad degree after two long years.. and prepared myself to hear that three lettered dreadful word "job".

As I moved from Texas to California, lil did I know I was all alone in the world looking for a job.. without knowing where to turn to, passing out resumes like fliers to each and every one that I came across and prowling thru different jobsites like monster and hotjobs applying for thousands of jobs everyday hoping to get a response from atleast one... I finally got a job with a manufacturing company.. worked hard during the first three months 'probation' to satisfy the 'boss' just to receive a e-mail from HR to meet her up and walked out the same way I went in from a place where I thought my future was with 500 ppl walking with me coz of restructuring.

How life changes in a matter of hrs. Even though that was a hard hit to take, I realised tat I dont have time to sit bak and dwell on wat happened. I had to scramble around to find a new job or go bak to school to maintain my 'visa'. With a stroke of luck, I ended up in a job tat I am working to date..

August 2006, two yrs on the job , lil did it change from the day I landed on US.. still not a day goes by without thinking of home..figuring out the different calling cards or use of Interent phone, trying to go out to different restaurants for dinner and getting better with 50 times multiplication table converting every cent or dollar to rupees ...

So again is it worth going thru all this so u can end up where u started fiver years ago?

aint no tommorow without yesterday...

It was a hot day in dry lubbock... with high winds blowing across the school with me safely inside the library working.. there she was.. with her curly hair swayin with the wind and the wind following every single step of her trying to get her attention. I dont blame the wind as any1 who saw her would do the same... I still rem the smile she gave me when she walked in.. not a day went by during that summer that our eyes didnt meet. finally I took the courage to talk to her.. she was with her friend and her bro preparing for the exams.. all i wanted to do is ask for her number but didnt have the courage to do it.. decided to wait for one more day, wait for her to be alone. the following day was the final day of the summer... I never been happy to see the sun. I woke up.. stood b4 the mirror practised my lines .. got dressed up.. with a spray of perfume.. I walked to the library, clocked in with my id, and clipped the id to my shirt.. and was staring down at the entrance. with clock winding down and my heart beat racing wild.. but..she never came in. not a day goes by without me thinking of her.. wonder what would have happened if she did come in. would she have said yes? or would she have said the dreadful no? but for the past 2 years I always wonder what could have happened if she had said yes without my heart thinking otherwise.
There have been many girls that came across in my life.. but y do my heart yearn for the ones that i culdnt have? only god knows...